The date: March 20, 2025
The location: Smalltown, USA
The act: Legendary!
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Smalltown – In what can only be described as a bizarre fusion of technology and pest control, local man Jeremy Thompson has taken a creative yet unconventional approach to his ongoing battle with local rats. Thompson, 32, has been using his beloved Nintendo Switch as bait to catch rodents in his neighborhood.
"I was just sitting there, playing Animal Crossing, when it hit me: what if the rats loved the Switch as much as I do?" Thompson said, holding his prized handheld gaming console up to a trap lined with cheese. "I knew I had to try it. They're not getting my Breath of the Wild or my Mario Kart 8. But if it works, then hey, maybe I can get the rats to join my town in Animal Crossing too."
Thompson's technique involves leaving his Switch on the floor, propped up with a new game, and placing small cheese crumbs around it. He then waits for the inevitable chaos to ensue as the rats are attracted to the glowing screen and the promise of gaming glory.
The Results
After several days of using his Zelda-themed Switch as a lure, Thompson reports mixed results. "The rats haven't exactly played the Switch yet," he admitted, "but I’ve definitely seen them hover around it. There’s something about the portability that they seem to appreciate. And it does seem like they’re starting to take interest in Super Smash Bros."
Despite the lack of full-fledged rodent gamers, Thompson claims that he’s caught at least three rats by tricking them into stepping on the traps while they try to figure out the mystery of his glowing screen.
"I swear, one of them was eyeing the Mario Kart 8 disc like it was a golden ticket. I could see it in its beady little eyes. It's like it was trying to learn how to drift around corners."
Expert Opinions
Local pest control expert, Dr. Rachel Mendez, weighed in on Thompson's unorthodox method: “While I appreciate Jeremy’s enthusiasm for combining his passion for gaming with rodent control, using a Nintendo Switch as bait is not a proven technique. In fact, it could lead to the rats developing a false sense of confidence in their gaming skills. We don’t want them creating underground esports leagues in my backyard.”
Dr. Mendez continued, “However, we’ve seen stranger things. If Jeremy’s experiment leads to rodent-free living rooms and a thriving Splatoon 3 community in the rat population, I’d be impressed.”
The Future of Pest Control
Despite some doubts from experts, Thompson remains committed to his unique approach. "I’m not giving up. I’m thinking about upgrading to a Switch OLED to really draw them in. It's got that extra pop. Who knows? Maybe the rats will start a competitive Smash Bros. scene in my basement."
For now, the Switch remains at the center of his battle plan, though he's recently added some extra incentives, like Super Mario Odyssey and a few collectible Amiibos, just to see how far the rodents will go.
"I’m also thinking of maybe getting some Ring Fit Adventure in the mix," Thompson added. "Get the rats in shape while they’re at it. It's multitasking."
Until then, Thompson will continue to experiment with new ways to mix gaming and pest control—proving once and for all that nothing, not even rats, can resist the allure of a Nintendo Switch.
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Disclaimer: While Jeremy Thompson’s innovative pest control method is certainly unconventional, it is not recommended for others to use their personal gaming devices as bait for rodents. Always use proper methods for pest control, and remember that your Switch deserves better.
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